Four Dimensions of Couple Stability and Satisfaction

Trust, communication, support, and physical closeness are crucial to the success of a relationship. Being a part of a relationship requires a lot of maintenance while everyone are navigating the constant change of life, both positive and negative. Choosing to be with a partner means you go through life events together while also having different perspectives and feelings. To be successful while going through life you need to be able to rely on each other. A healthy relationship has partners that participate in the growth and well-being of each other. They operate well together as a partnership and adapt to life changes with each other over time.

Trust

A relationship cannot be successful if one or both partners do not trust each other. Lack of trust could stem from past or current events or experiences, like dysfunctional upbringing or caregivers, infidelity, abuse, etc. When one or more partners do not trust their spouse, negative feelings and interactions are present and this can create dissatisfaction in the relationship. Having autonomy in a relationship is important to not lose yourself in your couple’s identity and this is more attainable and functional if there is trust in the relationship.

Communication

Communication is a great start in building trustworthiness in a relationship. Communication is not just about speaking. Communication can take different forms like facial expressions, gestures, or silence and they all have different meanings. Dr. Diane Gehart (therapist, author, and mental health expert) wrote, “Since all behavior is a form of communication and it is impossible to not be engaged in some form of behavior (at least while we are alive), it follows that we are always communicating.” When couples communicate effectively, there is less assuming what the other is thinking which could lead to incorrect

theories. Couples need to be able to communicate effectively during conflict to have long-term stability and value in the relationship.

Support

Couples therapy

Life is always changing whether it is joyous, heartbreaking, or everything in between. Life is constantly moving. I believe for partners to be successful they should be able to support one another through these adjustments and avoid abandonment. I believe emotional support of both partners can help accomplish shared goals and aspirations. The presence of support and sensitivity can lead to lack of possessiveness and jealousy, lack of emotional overreacting, lack of assuming, and lack of aggressive or mean criticism or comments. This kind of support and understanding can lead to respecting each other’s privacy and space.

Physical Closeness

Physical closeness to your partner is important. I do not just mean sex, but other ways to show intimacy through physical contact. Intimacy can be described by physical acts like having sex, kissing, hand holding, hugging, giving warm gestures, comforting, etc. Physical intimacy is a bond you have created with your partner and if that physical closeness falters, negative feelings may present themselves like uncertainty, sadness, distrust, insecurity, etc. The authors of Quickies: The Handbook of Brief Sex Therapy Dr. Douglas Flemons and Dr. Shelley Green wrote, “Sexual experience is profoundly personal; it is often, though not always, interpersonal; but it is always, always relational. Desire/withdrawal; arousal/anxiety; pleasure/pain; intimacy/loneliness: All reflect and contribute to recursive communicational loops between conscious awareness and the involuntary body responses of both self and partner.”

You and your partner can have stability and satisfaction in your relationship.

Written by :

Allison Burgess BHPP

Chandler Arizona Therapist