"A part of me wants to take that new job and advance my career... but another part of me is terrified I'll fail and wants to stay small and safe."
"I promised myself I wouldn't drink tonight, but then this impulsive part took over and I did it anyway."
We all speak in "parts" language naturally because it reflects the reality of our minds. We are not one single, monolithic personality. Our minds are like a complex internal family, made up of different sub-personalities or "parts," each with its own viewpoint, memories, and job to do.
Sometimes, these parts get along. Other times, they are at a full-blown civil war, leaving you feeling stuck, conflicted, and exhausted. Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a powerful, evidence-based therapy that helps bring peace to this internal system.
There Are No "Bad" Parts
The revolutionary idea at the heart of IFS is that every single part of you has a good intention, even the ones that cause destructive behaviors.
That part of you that binges food? It’s trying to numb pain. That part of you that screams in anger? It’s trying to protect a vulnerable younger part from being hurt again. That inner critic that berates you? It’s trying to motivate you to be perfect so you won't get rejected.
In IFS therapy at Clear Counseling AZ, we don't try to get rid of these parts. We get curious about them. We thank them for trying to protect you, and then help them find healthier roles.
The Three Types of Parts
IFS generally categorizes parts into three roles:
- Exiles: Young parts that hold pain, trauma, or shame. We usually try to lock them away so we don't have to feel their intense emotions.
- Managers: Proactive protective parts that try to keep the world organized and safe so the Exiles never get triggered. (e.g., the Perfectionist, the People-Pleaser, the Controller).
- Firefighters: Reactive protective parts that jump in when an Exile does get triggered to douse the emotional flames, usually wildly and destructively. (e.g., Substance use, self-harm, binge eating, dissociation).
Finding Your "Self"
Beneath all these parts is your core "Self." This is who you truly are when you aren't triggered. The Self is naturally calm, curious, compassionate, and confident.
The goal of IFS therapy isn't to eliminate your parts, but to help your core Self become the leader of your internal system again, rather than being led by fearful, reactive parts that are stuck in the past.
Explore "Parts Work" Therapy
