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  • Jesika Pearce

The Foundation of Lasting Love: The Power of Quality Time with Your Partner

In the fast-paced whirlwind of modern life, it’s easy for the bond between partners to get lost in the shuffle. Yet, amidst the chaos, there exists a beacon of hope- a simple yet profound concept that can breathe life into relationships and fortify them against the storms of negativity: quality time spent together.


In his enlightening book, “What Makes Love Last?”, renowned relationship expert John Gottman delves into the intricate dynamics of lasting relationships, offering invaluable insights into why marriages falter and how they can thrive. According to Gottman’s extensive research, relationships often unravel when couples become mired in a state characterized by negativity- a corrosive force that erodes trust, intimacy, and connection.

At the heart of Gottman’s findings lies the crucial importance of quality time spent with one’s significant other. When partners prioritize meaningful interactions and carve out dedicated moments for each other amidst life’s hustle and bustle, they lay the groundwork for a relationship built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect.


Quality time serves as the cornerstone of a trust-based relationship for several reasons.


1.     Fostering Emotional Intimacy: Regular, uniterrupted time spent together allows partners

to deepen their emotional connection. Through open communication, shared

experiences, and attentive listening, couples cultivate a profound sense of intimacy and

vulnerability, strengthening the bond between them.

2.    Cultivating Friendship: Gottman emphasizes the significance of friendship within a

relationship- a foundation rooted in laughter, companionship, and mutual support. By

nurturing a friendship with their partner, individuals create a reservoir of positivity that

buffers against the corrosive effects of negativity, fostering resilience and unity in the

face of challenges.

3.     Accepting Influence: Central to Gottman’s research is the notion of “Accepting

Influence”- the willingness to consider and honor your partner’s perspective, preferences,

and needs. Quality time provides an ideal setting for couples to practice this principal

as they engage in collaborative decision-making, compromise, and empathy, thereby

strengthening their connection and fostering a sense of equality and partnership.

4.     Navigating Disagreements with Gentleness: Conflict is an inevitable aspect of any

relationship, yet it is how couples approach and resolve disagreements that ultimately

determines the health of their union. Quality time offers couples the opportunity to hone

their conflict resolution skills, practicing patience, empathy, and respect, even in the

midst of heated discussions. By approaching disagreements with gentleness and

understanding, partners reaffirm their commitment to each other’s well-being and

cultivate a climate of mutual respect and trust.

In essence, quality time serves as the lifeblood of a thriving relationship- a nourishing elixir that sustains love, trust, and intimacy amidst life’s trials. By prioritizing meaningful interactions, fostering friendship, accepting influence, and approaching disagreements with gentleness, couples can fortify the foundation of their relationship ensuring that their love stands the test of time.


-Jesika Pearce, OM


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